Comment: Suck it, Victoria's Secret Babes!

So for some random reason or other I received a Victoria’s Secret catalog in the mail today. (Have I ever ordered anything from them? No.) Well after taking a good look through it, all I can say is, plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.

First of all, VS used to be strictly about underwear. But they’re expanded their brand to all manner of clothing, some of it not even particularly sexy. (Granny pajamas? Wha?)

I’m still humbled by the airbrushed babes in the skintight jeans and sweaters (and bras, natch). But I noticed something today: the sweater style that is apparently coming back is...

Boucle.

You know, the sweater with that pulled yarn look, where it’s all loopy and fluffy?

It reminded me of my youth (not the misspent part) back when boucle was fashionable. Back THEN.

At about age eleven or so, I had created my ideal fantasy outfit. This was the outfit I would have that would transform me from boyish, underdeveloped, slouching girl to statuesque, confident young woman. I daydreamed about it so many times I can still conjure the image in my head.

I would be wearing Road Runner jeans (look it up) and cowboy boots (look, they were popular, ok? Shut up!) and underneath my blazer with the sleeves pushed up? A boucle sweater.

I never did get any of those things as a child. Though by the time the mid-eighties were around, I was wearing thrift shop blazers any way I damn well pleased.

So seeing boucle sweaters on images of perfect women today? Made me wistful. But see, I never looked like them. And I never will. The only way now is down. Gravity is no longer my friend.

If I got a boucle sweater now, it wouldn’t make me cool or fabulous. I’m already as fabulous as I'm gonna get, and as long as my husband thinks I’m cool (or hot) it doesn’t matter what kind of sweater I wear.

Take that, consumer culture.