That’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve quit cold turkey. I cut the cord. I’m done with Facebook.
You’ve seen me on here extolling its virtues and vices, so it should come as no surprise that my ambivalence is now carrying me in this direction.
What tipped the scales? I was getting too compulsive about it. I kept checking to look for people to talk to online, when I should be talking to people in person instead. It’s hard to admit that you’re lonely, and I am, but I’m not going to feel much less lonely talking to so-called friends who are, although all perfectly fine human beings, mostly not people I am in contact with on a regular basis. We’ve been out of each other’s lives for 20 plus years, what’s the hubbub now?
Simple. We connect because we can. And I will admit to a handful of rejuvenated friendships through Facebook (you know who you are) and one new local friend with whom I frequently Facebook, about all of which I am quite pleased. But ultimately? There are other ways to communicate: IM, email, the phone, a real live visit. I don’t want to deteriorate into someone who sits at home every night looking for someone to talk to online. I’d rather occasionally go out with actual people. But maybe that’s just me.
Besides, I was developing a side effect I didn’t like: Facebook Envy (FE ™) . That’s what you feel when you see that someone you hardly know but do like says “Tanya is…” and it’s something like, “Tanya is partying with her best friends in Tahoe!” and you’re sitting at home folding laundry or cleaning up dried puddles of urine from behind the toilet seat. Such a buzzkill.
I found myself one too many times looking at these overly cheery statements of alleged activity and wondering, are these people for real? Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. It doesn’t matter. What matters is what I am actually doing with my time in the here and now. Their here and now is their business. If they’re truly that happily active and fabulous, then fair play to them. If they’re not, then they’re deluding themselves to a wider audience.
See, I don’t really want to delude myself to a wider audience. I’m deluded enough in private, thank you very much. So when I started compulsively looking for people to chat with online when I could have been getting to know my neighbors or having coffee with a real girlfriend, I knew it was time to quit.
It may not take, I realize that. It’s tough. But I think my life will be richer, at least at this point, without Facebook. If any of my real or fake friends on my list want be in touch with me, they’ll figure out how to find me. Otherwise, so what?
Hate the Sinner But Love the Sin?
4 months ago