I'm still here. Just got very deep into my multiple jobs, plus for the first time in over ten years, I performed in a show. It was awesome and got that thespian itch going for me again. My friends and I each wrote a monologue that we literally and figuratively strung together, with some rope. It was so much fun.
But I don't want to be one of those bloggers who write about how great their life is because if you're having a shitty day you'll feel like kicking my teeth in. Actually, I'm mixing up what I'm trying to say. The brilliant improv guru Keith Johnstone says that "Every time you tell someone something good about yourself, it's like kicking them", which I have found to be true. It's like when you go on Facebook and everyone's seeming to have a better day than you and you feel like the lyrics to a Morrissey song and you just feel very very sorry for yourself for no particular reason.
The things to remember are: (1) Facebook is not reality, (2) The person could be lying, either to you or to her/himself (3) People hide behind vacuuous statements and shallow pursuits to quell their inner fear that life is meaningless, groundless, or just plain terrifying.
Jesus H., what's got into me today?
Actually, I just finished working on some gigs that had high highs, low lows, and creamy vanilla frosting middles. I saw my high schoolers yesterday for the last time. I was attempting to teach them playwriting. This was a group of urban, disaffected, angry, resistant and apathetic students who didn't find me as charming or hilarious as I had hoped. But I connected with a few of them, and most of them did write something, so it was not all for naught. Damn, high schoolers are challenging. The state of education in this country is sorry and depressing. But I'm not going there right now...
The preschoolers were a lot more fun and a lot more gratifying. Since last I wrote, I have enrolled in and am about to start another grad program; this time, I'm getting focused and practical: early childhood education, baby. That's where my heart is, and that's where I can get away with being the creative and freaky/goofy person I really am.
So I'm on a path. And that's probably why I haven't written in so long. I used this blog as my constant (just like Desmond on Lost!) as we moved from one side of the country to the other, and now that I am more settled into my life, I don't need it as much. But I don't want to just abandon you. My friend and fellow blogger, The Solipsist, reminded me today not to leave my readers in the lurch.
So exit the lurch, dear ones, and stay tuned for occasional postings here about art, life and being a middle-aged college student (again).
This Bud's for Bud
5 months ago