Comment: Starting Fresh

My family and I are at a crossroads at the moment. We’re at the intersection of who are and who we want to be, and man, is the congestion heavy.

Seriously. What I’m talking about is choice. We are about to move across the country and start new jobs, new schools, new everything. So the question is: who do we want to be when we get there?

Fundamentally, I know, there’s no changing our core. Who we really are is determined in the womb as far as I can tell, but there’s a lot of shaping that happens as you grow and learn; and transformations can and do occur. Lest you fear I’m going all new age on your asses, fear not: I’m just talking about the difference between who you are and who you want to be.

Everybody has this gap. Let’s call it the “Aspiration Gap” or AsGap ™ for short. I referred to the concept in my “Cute Blouse Girl” post where I talked about buying myself into a more fabulous personality. Because the truth is, we all have a gap between who we think we currently are and who we wish we’d be. Some of us have bigger AsGaps™ than others.

And moving away from the familiar to the unknown is a unique opportunity to start fresh, or at least as fresh as possible. And this means potentially narrowing the space between our current selves and the selves we yearn to be. Shrink the AsGap ™, so to speak.

I’m not talking about hair cuts and new clothes, although of course moving is a perfect opportunity to get those highlights you always wanted, lose ten pounds, start wearing eyeliner or cute blouses, etc. The superficial is much easier to change than the deeper, more abstract shit. And that’s the shit that really bugs you.

I’m talking about changing things you’ve longed to change, but haven’t because you’ve gotten yourself in a rut (either through your own neglect or the expectations of others) that you can’t get out of because it’s too deep. Maybe you want to be one of those people who goes to museums with their kids every weekend. You may want to be someone who volunteers once a week at a homeless shelter. In your new home, maybe you do want to create that home office you've always wanted but never allowed for yourself. Maybe you’ve always wanted to start a writing/running/wine tasting group but have never gotten past the inertia of your present circumstances. Maybe you can be kinder, more tolerant, less irritable, in your new neighborhood. It's a real opportunity.

Moving somewhere new allows you to spread your wings a little wider, allow the wind to let you soar; HOLD IT, shut the front door, I sound like the copy on the back of one of those generic CDs you can get in Target with titles like “Relaxation”, “Meditation Humming” “Languid Afternoons” and “Supine Reflections.” Sorry.

I'm just reflecting. Isn't it annoying? Or can you honestly reflect with me, sans irony? Give it a try. What’s your AsGap™? Can you narrow it down? Maybe you don’t have to move to be a better person. Maybe all you have to do is try.