Comment: More Being Wistful about Friendship

Sometimes it takes moving away to realize how much you liked somebody, or something that you will no longer have in your immediate surroundings. It’s very bittersweet for my family and I to be leaving Silicon Valley. We were only here for a year and a half, so we’d barely begun to get acclimated.

And now as the time comes for us to head out on our next adventure, I’m taking a little time to allow myself to be sad. Even if you don’t like everything about a place you live, there is always something positive if you look for it.


I met a friend with whom I clicked instantly. I am sad to leave her, but we have a healthy i-m relationship, which will ease the sting somewhat. I found the most splendid community of kind and funny people at the preschool I sent both of my children to; I will greatly miss the companionship of these parents and children. I am especially wistful/regretful at the friendships less traveled: the cool women I met whom I didn’t get to know as well as I would have liked. It saddens me to see that potential lost.

And sometimes when you leave a place, people come out of the woodwork who were fans of yours, or better friends than you realized. You don’t know the impact you have on others around you most of the time; I learned that from teaching. I had students approach me years later who never said a single word in class and who told me the class was their favorite or it impacted them profoundly. As much as we like to navel gaze, we as humans really don’t know how we come across or what the hell we’re doing most of the time.

So I mourn the friendships and other relationships that I and my family are leaving. I hate for my son to leave his best friend, even though I know he will make another one. I hope we can all find new friends where we go, and not take them for granted or just assume that they or you will always be there. My advice? If you want to hang out with someone, do it while you can. Don’t wait until it's too late and you’re moving away to realize the gems you’ve left behind.