Complaint: And some musing.

Sometimes Facebook really reminds me of those Christmas letters you get from people. You know the ones that boast about all the fabulous things people have done? Pictures of kids and vacations, long and tedious details about trips taken and accomplishments achieved?

“Muffy and I wintered in St. Tropez. Darren, our son, graduated Cum Laude from Harvard and is engaged to one of the Bush twins.(He’s such a scamp!) Alexis is enjoying her year abroad and has taken up journaling, calligraphy and extreme skateboarding. She even went through a pink hair phase—isn’t that a riot? Meanwhile Muffy and I garden, sail, and are experimenting with tantric sex!"

Barf.

Sure, it’s nice to hear how an old friend is doing. But do I need to hear about your score on every damn game Facebook has to offer? Do you really need to tell the world that you just got your hair cut? I mean, sure, if it’s significant, like you got your long hair all cut off and now look (and feel) radically different. How much mundane shit can we pile on one screen? (And I’ve never seen Twitter, which I guarantee is highly mockable and I would despise.)

Yes, I’m bitching about Facebook again.

It’s nice to hear news about your friends, but how much is too much? I understand if you’re promoting something or something major has happened in your life that you want to share with LOTS of people simultaneously. But all this everyday stuff, it’s just, you know, stuff.

What would it be like if we also wrote our sorrows down on Facebook? Can you imagine: Darcy is pissed off at the world. Albert just lost his job. Nancy hates her life.

What would happen to our little Facey community then? What kind of comments would that elicit?

We only report the fabulous or the mundane*. But what about the shitty?

Is it because we only want to put our best “face” forward? Do we want to perpetuate the myth that we are always happy and fulfilled all of the time? Wouldn’t you like, some day, to see a post like “Beatrice is pissed off at everybody” or “Craig has issues with his mother-in-law”? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt people to be a little more honest, would it?

Maybe.

Because yes, I’m back on the schadenfreude train. Is this what it comes down to on Facebook, just as it does on reality TV? We are happy when something bad doesn’t happen to us, and a bit sad when something great happens to someone else. Are we creating our own little Reality Network on Facebook?

Of course you can be delighted at someone else’s triumph. That’s where joy and compassion for others comes in. You’re a pretty shitty Buddhist if you don’t feel compassionate joy. It exists. But it’s not always easy. Then again, nobody said life was going to be easy. There are no quick fixes. (“I like your idea, Marge, of the quick fix.” Ah Homer, if only there were such a thing.)

But back to the cheery faux-reality Christmas cards. I’m glad that someone is happy, but there’s a fine line between stating reality (as you perceive it) and sticking it to everybody else. Are we now creating false, two dimensional selves to present to the world? Wouldn’t it be nice if people told the truth a little more frequently?

I ask you, how much happy is too much for Facebook?








*Or the humorous, which I greatly encourage. Also the dry and the sarcastic win big points with me.)