Complaint: Not so Hot Forbidden Love

Okay, so I saw New Moon today, with another cool woman of a certain age who is a Twilight fan and isn’t 15.

At first we were the only ones in the theatre. This pleased us, as we expected to be able to make smart remarks throughout the movie.

Alas, four people showed up. We were no longer in heckle mode.

(My friend did come to an excellent conclusion, however: what we really want is Edward’s behavior, face, and dorky/sexy hair, and Jacob’s body. Damn. Taylor Lautner worked for his part, if I may just pause and objectify him for a minute.)

But the movie itself: What can I say?

We watched it. It was faithful to the book, albeit a sped-read one. It kind of all flew by with none of the nuances.

Look, I’m not saying this stuff is brilliant literature, but it has captured a LOT of people’s attention. And we’ve talked here about why: Edward is the ultimate fantasy lover: he’s attentive, chaste, and adoring. The whole getting-too-close-to-her-might-excite-him-so-much-he-might-kill-her, well, that’s a bit of a buzz harsher, but in some ways, it makes his undying love even hotter.

At least in the book.

But in the movie? Not so much.

I kept waiting for some kind of tension or chemistry between the two characters, especially since all the tabloids claim the two actors are an item.

However, there just wasn’t that much there. The whole movie felt rushed and generally passionless.

And the joy of the books lies in savoring the taboo nature of the central relationship. Edward loves Bella, of course, but he could kill her by loving her, devour her entirely. It’s not rocket science, people. It’s impossible love, which for many, many women (and probably some men) is the hottest kind.

Forbidden love is (usually) hot.

Stephanie Meyer probably kept things chaste in the books due to her religious leanings. But she was on to something in the quiet, sizzling, desperate lust between the Bella and Edward.

On the screen, it just wasn’t there.

So the movie was just, meh.

The stars have become full blown celebrities and have now eclipsed (Ha! Ha!) the franchise.

Ah well.