Complaint: To Be Young, Incontinent and Drunk Or How Did this DOG End Up on My Bed?!

Well, you know, it's really a good idea to check your messages over the course of a day. Usually I'm fairly religious about it, eager to know who called me and what they had to say (I don't get out much.)

So imagine my surprise when I got a call from my husband tonight asking, "Did you get my message?" to which I replied, "No." He then went on to tell me that his office's "mascot", (should that even be in quotes?) Odyss the dog, needed a place to sleep for the night.

Apparently the twenty-somethings the CEO put in charge of taking care of him took off to New York for their own little odyssey of a big concert and swanky shindig of some sort. You know, typical twenty year old stuff. And they forgot about Odyss.

Enter my husband: responsible, kind, loyal, and, to my surprise, not immune from CDS (Cute Dog Syndrome). When I voiced some mild concern over this dog coming to our house, he actually did it: he used the DOG VOICE. "ohh, what are we gonna do wiv him, boody boo?"

It was all highly irregular.

So I got irritated, but of course consented, even though we got BRAND NEW LEATHER COUCHES TODAY and we also have a NEW RUG. I have already read my kids the riot act about jumping on sofas and such, so now I have to police a puppy?

He's been here one hour and he's already whizzed on my son's bedroom carpet twice.

When will the madness end? This dog has us all under his spell. He's cute, dammit, and he follows you around panting: your own personal, non-threatening stalker. It's like having another non-potty-trained extra messy kid around the house. It's like having a hairy toddler, who barks, in the house. That's what it is. And his barks sound like my kids' coughs.

The kids absolutely love him. I told my husband that if he brought this dog home, even for one night, we'd end up getting a dog. I'm not anti-dog, I grew up with them. But I have enough trouble working IN and OUTSIDE the home taking care of three other people. Do I really need to add another one to the list? Especially a hirsute one with such poor bladder control?

Ah well. For now all I can do is grimace and kvetch and possibly even grouse. But I'm also highly amused.

Where will he pee next?