Comment: Not So Zen Momma

Okay, I'm really needing an infusion of loving-kindness toward all beings right about now.

Actually, I'm okay NOW, but I really needed one a few hours ago.

Better yet, I needed DETACHMENT. Which I did not have, at all, during a minor incident today.

I have a neighbor, whom as a person I generally like, but as a parent am not so impressed by. And her daughter and my daughter get along 90% of the time. 10% of the time, her daughter is a tad, say, manipulative, and upsets my daughter.

I see this as a problem.

I don't actively dislike the mom, and I don't actively dislike the kid.

But I feel like the mom's a disciplinary pushover, and her daughter can be mean sometimes.

And today, I over-reacted, and had to back pedal a bit. But here's the thing: I had to stand by my principle: if people aren't being nice to you, LEAVE. Walk away, say buzz off, take a break. So I had to (temporarily) remove my daughter from the the offending child for a few minutes.

Damn, parenting is fucking hard. It's so much easier teaching other people's children, because the intensity of being a parent clouds one's ability to be zen in the face of adversity. At work, I can be impartial. At home? Not so much. Not at ALL.

So I have some more reflecting to do. Because I don't like what I see next door. And I didn't like what I saw in myself today. Somehow, I have to learn to tone down my knee-jerk reactions and stay calmer in the face of conflict.

Because five minutes after the little incident we had today between the girls, they were FINE. It was the mom and I who were shivering wrecks.

We are so emotionally invested in our children's actions and reactions.

We need to learn to chill out.