Good Times

Well, everyone who said they would come, came, to the little fete I had last night.

It was very fun, and I found myself admiring/liking all of the women who were there.

I think I'm in danger, however, of level-jumping on these friendships. I just want to move faster to get CLOSER, but that's not how it works.

As Morrissey sang, "these things take time."

And I am just so tired of waiting in a new place every ten to twelve months to start cultivating friendships again and again.

At present, I don't really know these women that well; some of them already do know each other quite well, which I didn't know, but it makes sense. Some of them have been at the school for two years already. And they're neighbors.

How do you compete with that?!

There's this one mom I really like (not like like) but I can't tell if she likes me. I mean, she certainly doesn't actively dislike me. But I'm wondering if she is overwhelmed by my loud personality, and/or is an introvert, and/or doesn't need any new friends.

I've been trying to go for a run with her for awhile now, but she has been politely putting me off. Which tells me that I should probably back off.

It's amazing how you can feel like an insecure kid again when you're trying to make friends.

Anyway, I've done all I could, so I am going to have to let this go, and look for other friends who are more enthusiastic. It just all feels like high school again, and who wants to go back to that?

Making friends is never easy. There are always jealousies, envious moments, insecure thoughts, times you said too much, or not enough. And you have to be patient. I tend to use most of my patience on my kids and my job. Not much left over for me.

Damn, it's hard being human sometimes.