Girls Will Be Girls?

Girls are so complicated.

I'm speaking at the moment of little girls, but, frankly, this applies to us full grown ones as well.

One minute, it's nasty snarks and exclusion; the next, a lovefest.

It's exhausting.

I watch my daughter navigate our new neighborhood full of girls and wonder, will she be a leader or a follower? And once that choice is made, will she use her (relative) power for good or evil?

That is the question.

There is a pecking order in every social group. And now that spring has sprung and the kids are outside pecking about, it will likely become much clearer who the leaders are, where the lines are, and who's who.

Some girls are nice when nobody else is around, but terrors in a pack.

I think that pretty much sums up some of my experience with groups of women: in small groups, they're great; in a pack, horror show.

Partly I guess I just don't understand truly mean girls. (Or mean boys, for that matter. But that's another story.) I mean, I wasn't a mean girl. I was mostly a follower, stayed under the radar and got high off the fumes of my mother and sister's popularity as I trundled through high school. (My mom taught there and was beloved.)

I didn't do mean things to other girls; and luckily, other girls didn't do mean things to me. So I don't know the mean mentality. Or maybe I do, but I'm lying to myself that I don't. I mean, it's not like I've never been a bitch as an adult. But as a kid? No bitchy. Seriously. Ask my mom.

So what makes a mean girl? What makes a victim?

Bet you can guess where I'm going with this: research time. Beam me up, Amazon.com. Stay tuned for the results.