Complaint: Guh, look what's hanging from my car!

What’s with the nutsack thingies hanging on the rears of cars? Apart from not being even remotely anatomical, even in an anthropomorphic sense (they should be hanging UNDER the car, not behind it, duh), what the hell are they doing there? I just noticed one today after having heard of them for some time.

What’s the message? I have gonads. I have balls. So? I have ovaries, but you don’t see me hanging a pair of plastic fallopian tubes over my dash or a fake vulva hanging behind me. I don’t need to tell other people my gender. If they want to know, they can come a little closer.

I’ll admit, I do have pretty androgynous hair right now, but I’m pretty sure most people think I’m a girl, woman, and mother especially, with my children in tow everywhere I go. You don’t see as many guys being trailed all day by kids.

So maybe the nutsack is to say, Yes, I have balls and can father children, but I’m busy right now in my truck/SUV/car not watching my kids. Look at them jiggle. Look at them and think highly of me!

Now look. I have nothing against testicles. They serve a high purpose indeed.

But again, I ask you, why the fake balls on parade?

It’s just one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen and doesn’t speak well of the intellectual acumen of the person who has them on display.

Or am I missing something? Do they have some deep meaning? Am I now so horribly out of it now that I don't even understand a piece of popular culture?

Maybe a sixteen year old dufus guy could do the hanging balls thing, but frankly, I think sixteen year old guys have other thoughts on their mind these days. Kids today, they actually CARE about things, like the environment, and government, and jobs. We GenXers are meanwhile aging rapidly while maintaining our once-attractive-but-now-old-school-cynicism.

I’m middle aged, I’ve got a uterus, but it’s none of your damn business what it looks like.

Hang that on your tail pipe.

On second thought? Don’t.