Comment: More of a Confession, Actually

With my relatively new access to TV, I’ve been sucked into a pop culture vortex of which I should probably be ashamed.

There’s this show called “Real Chance at Love 2” (See? I even know the title. That’s bad.)
It’s about these two rapper guys (who are also brothers) who are both looking for love (isn’t everyone?) for the second time, since they had an original show, but, surprise, surprise, their love wasn’t real enough.

Yes, they’re really called Real and Chance, and their whole motif, for whatever reason, is the wild west. They have a lot of horseshoes in their décor, but they also have the blingiriffic look that all these celebrity “cribs” (see how hip I am?) have for these types of shows. I think they breed horses. I just should not know these things, but I do.

(It’s probably a good time to tell you that once upon a time, I saw some of another dating reality show, “Rock of Love,” with Bret Michaels. He’s from some 80s heavy metal band and he looks like his face is being pulled apart he’s has so much done to it, but he has that swarthy Bon Jovi/Nikki Six amalgam thing going on that (apparently) young, busty and vacuous women like. I think he had two shows, too. And I think his ex has a spin-off. Seriously.)

So Real and Chance have all these ladies who want to find true love on TV. It’s all so orchestrated, it’s hilarious. There are, natch, catfights a plenty, along with the usual eye-rolling, belly-ring baring, and very big hair. There’s only one woman on this show with short hair and she has a faux-hawk, and was obviously chosen because she’s the only woman on the show with short hair. She’s the “edgy” one. There’s also a “bitchy” one, a “ditsy” one, a “quiet” one, and a “slightly psycho” one.

(Sidebar: You’d be amazed at how many miles you can run on a treadmill while you watch women dis each other and throw themselves at the guys.)

All of the women are babe-a-licious in a completely stereotypical way. And all of them clearly see being on television trying to date a small time rapper as their destiny, their chance at love, or at least, overexposure.

Part of me is horrified that there are women who do this. Can’t these relatively good looking women find men in the real world, ones who aren’t objectifying them to within one inch of their lives?

I mean, the guys nickname the women in a disturbingly blatant show of sexism. There’s the woman with the major booty and she’s called “Junk.” There’s the woman with the bookish vibe who wears glasses and she’s called “Apple.” (Get it? Like "Hot for Teacher"?) And there’s “Blonde Baller”, “Classy”, “Lady”, “Wiggle”, “Mamacita” and “Hot Wings.”

You can’t make this shit up.

And it scares me that I know this, and that I am starting to be able to tell the women apart, in spite of their Barbie physiques and minimal clothing.

Part of me thinks the show is mean-spirited. In the episode I just saw part of (honest), the guys make the women look for “Yeti” in the forest. (It’s really their other brother, Micah. Again, scary that I know this.) And on a “date”, two of the women get their feet “read” by a “psychic” who was a very unconvincing actress with poor dialect control (Is she Spanish or French? Slavic? Italian?). I was indignant. Not because it was stupid, but because the women fell for the psychobabble this performer was spouting. And because I could have done a kick-ass Hungarian psychic with a reliable accent. But I digress.

Part of me really thinks this is horrible, but then I think: are these women being forced to be on this show? Has someone tricked them? The answers, I believe, are no. And yes.

No, they’re not being forced on the show. Not literally. And yes, they’ve been tricked, but not by any one person. They’ve been tricked by the myth of finding love on reality TV (or any TV, for that matter). They’ve been seduced by the blingtastic lifestyle they get to live while they vie for attention from two sort of good-looking, if not utterly ridiculous, shallow and swaggering playboys.

Is this show offensive on some level? Yes.

Will I keep watching it? Probably.

Would I let my children watch it? Hell no.

So what will I do when my kids are old enough to watch this stuff and start asking questions?

Better start thinking now.