Comment: Urge to shop…gone

The holidays have come and gone, and with them, my desire to shop.

Say it ain’t so.

But it is so. So so.

I haven’t been to my beloved Target in weeks and although I have withdrawal pains, I just don’t feel like getting more stuff. Apparently I’m not alone. The consumer index is in la toilette and frankly it’s about damn time.

We are so stuck in the pursuit of stuff to make us like other people, stuff to make us different from other people, stuff to make us feel happy, stuff to make us feel powerful, stuff to make us not feel at all.

Ironically, I feel I need to buy a book about having too much stuff, so there is still a purchase in my near future. But I have Christmas money! It’s mad money from my Dad. Even though I’m old enough to give my own kids mad money, there’s something sweet about it still coming from my dear father. I’m pretty sure I’m going to spend it all on books. There’s a shock.

Anyway, the book is called “It’s All Too Much” and it’s about the incursion of stuff in our lives and how to offload some of it and feel better. It’s probably a whole book that basically tells you to throw your shit out or give it away to someone who could use it. But still, sucker consumer that I am, I want to own and read the book. I want, I want, I want. My sister in law got it as a gift from her mother, who is not into stuff; my sister in law is a fastidious housekeeper and organizer so I don’t really know why she was given the book in the first place. I mean, I could totally help her out there.

But seriously, I am going to get my hands on a copy soon, so I can see what the hubbub is about and encourage myself to get rid of more stuff. My husband doesn’t have much stuff, so he’s not a prime candidate for the book, with the sole exception being his enormous box we move from one place to another, perpetually sealed, but clung to nonetheless. Perhaps the book will help me with my children’s stuff.

Because what really enervates me is the stuff the kids have. I don’t mean the collections of rocks and little stapled papers, homemade books full of pencil-scrawled numbers. I love those. I’m talking about the board games they never play, the plastic birthday party crap they get in those stupid bags, toys they could care less about. But whenever I try to get rid of things, I get worried that I am getting rid of something more precious to my kids than I know. I mean, I’m not a mind reader. And certain things that don’t look like much to me are treasures to my kids.

In fact, I’ve noticed how comforted my son feels with his stuff. Most of it is colored pencils and markers and crayons and the above-mentioned collections, but still; he gets downright freaked out if he can’t find his things. But he has too many things, so he can’t keep track of them. And therein lies the paradox. Anxiety over keeping track of too much stuff. Solution? Offload.

But I’m nervous about getting rid of his stuff without consulting him; he’s old enough to be very aware of missing things and also, as I’ve learned from past experience, old enough to go through the things with me and cull what can be let go. But my son has a hard time letting go (can’t imagine where he gets that from); he tends to want whatever is in front of him. Is it sentimentality? Territoriality? Insecurity? Hey, kids, sounds like the human condition!

So we shall see what happens with the whole stuff stuff.