Comment: Applying Myself

Having been out of the work force for the past six years, I realize I’m kind of rusty in the whole applying for jobs scene. The last job I had, I was hired on the spot. But it’s not so easy today. We’ve got the whole economy debaclegoing on, and I've got a six year SAHP-GAP (TM), but still, some places are hiring, or claim to be, and I want to see what I can get. I at least want to try.

But I forgot what it was like to have to prepare all the paperwork for a job application. Getting back in the game is a little overwhelming. I mean, it’s really like standing on the sidewalk of a very busy intersection with no lights, and putting your foot into the intersection and nearly having it lobbed off by the speeding cars racing through it.

I’m digging up transcripts that haven’t seen the light of day since Bananarama was big, and yet, for the job I want, they’re required. I have them, but man, they’re practically antiques!

And references? Oh man, my grad school days are a decade old, and I don’t even know where my former professors and advisers are now. And I’m supposed to find them for professional references? Apparently asking my neighbor to be my reference won’t cut it. She’s only seen me getting in and out of my car. (which I do very well) (unless I’m carrying something heavy)

There are cover letter requirements, of course, and the whole resume schpiel. I had to redo mine, it had been so long that I didn’t have anything but outdated hard copies left over from years past to work with.

There’s also a diversity statement, a list of courses taught, and the requisitie demand for the explicit details of my past employment. It’s all I can do not to be cheeky and write about the past six years taking care of two small children and their myriad needs and how it definitely qualifies me to teach Drama. But I know that wouldn’t get me in the door. And I at least want to get in the door.

But I’m seriously overwhelmed. The draconian requirements and intimidating language is meant to scare off dilettantes, I suppose. But when I read the requirements, I know I am right for the job. I have the degrees, and lots of experience. But it’s not experience at the community college level, which is where I’m applying. And I have no idea what the hiring committee will think. Are they able to be so particular that they’re hiring a Drama Ph.D.? Or will my little Masters degree be good enough? Are they looking for ten years of college teaching experience? How do you get the experience teaching college if you’ve never done it before? I’m a babe in the woods.

I come from a ridiculously academic family, and I know the path to tenure is long, slippery and fairly hideous. That’s not what I want. Not at all. I just want to pick up maybe one class, or two, at the local community college. I just want to teach people some Drama and give them a chance to express themselves. That’s all. Maybe I really am better off doing high school or remedial adult English classes. They just require one degree, patience, and a clean set of finger prints. That’s cake.