Question: If you could go back, would you?

In time, that is. And if so, what would you say?

All these Facebook reconnections are reminding me of days gone by. The people I’m in touch with come from many different eras of my life. The one area that’s taboo, of course, is exes. There cannot be contact with any serious boyfriends. Not as an old married lady.

But the renaissance of Facebook Friends has got me reminiscing about both good and bad guys I went out with.

It brings to mind a sketch from “The Kids in the Hall.” Dave Foley and Scott Thompson played the two C/Kathys, and were not only brilliant cross dressers, but they made spot on social commentary along with their dew drop Tootsie-style glasses and lacquered hair.

There was one point where the two K/Cathys were mocking a temp, calling her a slut, actually. Then Cathy said, “I don’t mean to be a prude, but I think all of your exes…should fit on a bus.” Then the other Kathy says “Not that you’d ever want to be on that bus.”

But what if you were? What if you woke up one day and all your nightmares came true and you found yourself sitting on a bus, alone with every guy you ever went out with?

What kind of comments would you make? Would you hope to be looking fabulous so you could be vindictive and say, “Ha ha, look what you’re missing out on!” or would you take the Oprah approach and sit and tell them what they did wrong and how they need to make it right? Or maybe you could be the other Oprah, who wants to share and talk and find out about your life and how it’s been and wish you the best.

I’m not sure which Oprah I’d be. Or how I’d want to be dressed. But I do feel queasy at the thought of the experience. Every other guy I went out with was wonderful. And I screwed up a lot of relationships due to immaturity, significant issues, flakiness, etc. But that means that every other guy I went out with was NOT wonderful. Honey, I made some bad choices. I picked guys who weren’t nice to me and didn’t respect me but for some reason appealed to me. I fit right into the textbook of the girl who has really nice guy friends she should be dating, but isn’t. Instead, I dated assholes (at least 50%) of the time because I didn’t know better.

So many young women do that, much to the chagrin of the nice guys who are their friends but want to be more than that. Looking back on it, it’s sort of pathetic the way my girlfriends and I would swoon over the “bad boys” and then get hurt and wonder why. Apparently we weren’t really quick on the dating learning curve. But, let’s be honest, most young guys are kind of obnoxious and immature and self-centered. There are some nice ones in there, to be sure, but really, most young guys just want to get laid.

So I don’t want to ride the particular Facebook bus that brings me back in touch with former flames. If we became friends later, sure, it’s fine, the relationship is neutralized and the two of us can be sociable without repercussions, because there was that chapter when we hung out in a friendly and platonic matter. But nasty break-ups? Long term boyfriends? Not on my bus.

Sure, it would be interesting to see how people have aged, what they’re up to, if they realize they were utter shmucks back in the day, but ultimately? It just doesn’t matter.

Know what I did when I finally got my act together and met a guy who treated me nice? I married him. He and I are the only ones on my bus.