Comment: Crackheads for Disney

Yes, my children are officially addicted to the Disney Channel. I blame the temporary, one-bedroom apartment we’ve been in for four months with its lack of space and abundance of cable TV.

How could they resist the allure of badly-acted kid sit-coms? (kidcoms?) Seriously, there is some truly pathetic acting going on up there on the kiddie screen.

I’ll spare you the analysis (for now). All I can say is, if PBS Kids is whole grain, full on 150% wheat bread, then Disney is Wonderbread bleached to within an inch of its life. Quick sugar high, then loooong sugar crash.

I’ve become lax in the past few weeks since I know that we’re leaving the land of Mickey and Friends. And we’re moving to a place where we have no TV. No modern TV. Which means that even if we get TV reception, order it or whatever, we will need a TV on which to receive it. Which means that my husband and I will have to make…dum dum dum…

A big ticket purchase.

This is something that requires months, nay, years, of deliberation, research, agonizing, and an eventual trip to Best Buy/IKEA/Target where we still won't buy anything. We tend to wait until things fall into our lap.

The only furniture we’ve ever bought is the following: mattresses. No bed frames. Well, okay, a cheap-ass bunk bed from Ikea which is now in about 3000 pieces in the kids’ room in the new house.

We’ve only ever bought tables from friends who were getting rid of them. We’ve gotten a couple of couches and a chair from friends for free.

So let’s recap: mattresses sans frames, second hand tables, and hand-me-downs.

That’s right: We’ve been married for thirteen years and we’ve never bought furniture together. (The bunk beds were bought by my husband while I was out of the country. Doesn’t that sound exotic? It isn't.)

This is the level we’re at.

So if we continue at our current molasses-in-January-style speed, we may not get a TV until the kids are in high school.

So there should be plenty of time to get over the DTs.

But who knows? With my husband’s newfound interest in football owing to our geographical location, we may get a TV before, say, middle school.

We'll be right back.