Comment: Getting it Right

I was talking to my best girlfriend today and we were reflecting on the fact that once our kids are in school, we don't know what's to become of us. It's a luxury, to be sure. I don't want to sound like some housewife of some American city. Believe me, that ain't me at all. I can barely walk in heels. And I let my legs get hairy frequently. (TMI. Sorry.)

Anyway, my friend and I were talking about making the "right" choice or the "right" decision and frankly, there is no right. There's Choice A and Choice B. If you choose Choice A, you'll follow that path. If you choose Choice B, you'll follow the other. It will do you no good (and some significant harm) to constantly look over your shoulder wondering if you should have made the other choice. (FYI, it will also really annoy your spouse.)

To quote the wise and loopy Lost, "what's done is done".

This is so much easier to write about than to actually live.

And alert readers will notice that there's a comment on yesterday's post from my friend and fellow blogger, The Sloppist, where he assures me that I will do the right thing in choosing schools for my kids. And of course, that is a kind thing to say. (In addition to his acerbic wit, he's actually a very nice person.)

But again with the "right."

We judge others harshly, but we judge ourselves harshest of all. When someone criticizes us, we criticize ourselves harder. We're always looking for the magic right answer to whatever question is on our minds, and berating ourselves when we're less than perfectly satisfied with our choice.

And the koan, if you will, is, there is no right answer. And there is no question.

Whoa. Way Zen.

I just blew my mind.