Question/Complaint: Et tu, Tom-Tom?

I feel so betrayed.

Something happened to my Tom-Tom and now it doesn’t work.

It won’t tell me where to go, how to get there, or what I should do next.

I am bereft.

This is a problem, as I can get lost in my own house. I’m seriously spatially-challenged.

And I had gotten so used to using my dear Tom-Tom, the little portable GPS that took me wherever I needed to go. Until today.

I had to go somewhere that I’ve actually been before. For most people, no GPS would be required. But as I said, I have issues. So I had to Yahoo Maps it and fuss around. I was in quite a lather before the appointment I had to get to today.

Luckily, I usually allow a fifteen-minute “lather cushion” when embarking on solo trips. Something is bound to fuss me up: the car not starting, forgetting my phone, saying goodbye (again) to the kids, having to pee. So I still arrived at my target destination (which, sadly, was not Target) (not that I’d need directions for THAT) in time for the person I was meeting to be running late anyway. Sigh.

But when I almost missed my turn on the way there, I was beside myself. I nudged myself into the correct lane just in time to piss off several cars’ worth of people and taking driving risks I would never normally take.

Because, you see, if I’d missed my turn, I’d have had no one to reroute me. Tom-Tom usually takes care of that for me, and since it wasn’t working, I had nothing. And as you can infer quite clearly from the paragraphs above, I am not good at rerouting.

Tom-Tom actually changed my life. Revolutionized it. I received it right before our family moved to a new city. Tom-Tom allowed me to drive to places I’d never have found on my own. (Did I mention I suck at reading maps, or was that implied already in the whole spatial challenge thing?)

I was so excited when Tom-Tom would take me and my kids places I’d never imagined. Suddenly I was a trailblazer: I could go to any park in the county. I could find Cold Stone Creameries miles from my home. I could be a carpool mom without embarrassment!

Because the beauty of Tom-Tom is that it doesn’t give you the bird’s eye views, as many GPS units do. It gives you the driver’s eye view, which is what all GPS units should do. (Why design these things for a bird? WTF?)

So I found a whole new world with my new best friend. And Tom-Tom really did become my friend. Or at the least, a companion. It has a menu of voices to suit one’s mood. Sometimes I have Jane, with her crisp, clipped British cadence. Other times I have Blandy, I mean, Mandy, the American. After awhile the Jane voice starts to make me feel like Mary Poppins is bossing me from the passenger seat.

I got to the point where I was talking to Tom-Tom. Mostly it was nicely, and more often than not, it was with gratitude, not irritation. (Although I admit to sometimes taking my road rage out on it with mild expletives. Or not so mild ones, when nobody else is in the car with me.)

And herein lies the paradox of the GPS. It’s a tool to help you navigate, but it obliterates any need or skills you may have in that area. So if you weren’t great at finding your way around town before you got Tom-Tom, you are permanently indentured to it, as I discovered today.

I have NO idea where I am when I’m using Tom-Tom, and I don’t need to. I just follow directions. So without guidance today, my anxiety spiked; I got sweaty, fussy and a mild case of road rage. And I had to follow my directions to the letter. Otherwise, I'd be SOL because I had no help fixing any mistakes I'd made. I'd have no idea where I was or how to get anywhere from there.

Quite a metaphor for life, no? I was without directions, without a compass, lost, and filled with panic and anxiety as a result. And I didn’t like it.

This is how Juliet and Sawyer felt before they ended up in the 70s. All those headaches, nosebleeds and bad fashions.

Tom-Tom, I will totally take you back, even though you abandoned me and left me adrift. Just come back, and I promise I won't swear at you.

As much.