Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Question: What’s with the pinching?

St. Patrick’s Day.

Originally a day to celebrate the patron saint of Ireland, it now consists of a bunch of drunk people chugging green beer (and later, barfing green barf) , wearing green, and pinching anyone who isn’t. Boy, do we know how to celebrate.

So supposedly some Irish children some number of years ago decided that you could pinch anyone who wasn’t wearing green.

Isn’t that a little, um, Lord of the Flies-y?

What about the kids who didn’t have green clothes? Were they going to be tormented as a result of not having a certain color on? The answer, throughout history, appears to be yes.

Thankfully my elementary school aged son wore green today, or who knows what would have happened.

Even at my daughter’s preschool, a PRESCHOOL, the teacher joked about pinching my child since she refused (adamantly) that morning to wear any green at all (that’s my girl). She said that my daughter’s name tag was green, and a good thing too, or else she might have gotten pinched. Has it come to this?

And looking back in history, do you think the people going through the potato famine and who barely had two sticks to rub together still got pinched if they weren’t wearing green? Some of them probably only had one pair of pants and one shirt. What are the odds that one of them was green? (Get back to me on that one, please.) Are we saying that a forgetful child should get pinched all day? How is that helpful? Is spite part of St. Patrick's Day?

And what about people who are color blind? You know, to some people, teal looks a lot like green. So what, you’re gonna get punished physically for wearing a color you thought was the right one?

I saw so much green today it made my head spin. In a totally random accident, I ended up wearing olive green army pants. So maybe that makes me a joiner after all. And nobody in my family got injured or mocked for their fashion choices.

But for the record, the pinching thing? Can kiss my 1/16th Irish ass.

2 comments:

  1. I advocate pummeling, myself. (Neshiz--a hip-hop term for "neck"?)

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  2. So here's a completely random one for you: the opposite of green (in a St. Patty sense)? Orange. Turns out that a society in Northern Ireland against Irish independence was the society of Orange, named after William of Orange, winner of the Battle of the Boyne. Somehow, and I kid you not, a group called the "peep o'day boys" were involved.

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