Comment: On Chuck E. Cheese and Taking One Day at a Time (not the sitcom)

Do you ever look ahead at all the upcoming events in your life and think, there’s no way I can do this, every detail of every action in every moment that I am slated to do?

I’m not talking about suicidal ideation. You don’t wish you were dead. You just don’t quite see how you will summon the moxie, the oomph, the gumption, the sheer force of will to get through whatever it is you need to get through.

Because these days just getting the kids to and from school and to birthday parties feels like it’s killing me. I’m exhausted. And I look ahead at the weeks and months of heavy activity and I think, how in the world am I going to do this?

I feel like wave after wave keeps breaking over me and I’m just clinging to my position so I don’t get swept away in the tide of change and activity that is gushing over my household.

The idea of a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s makes me want to gouge my eyes out. Two weeks ago, we were invited to TWO, within the same week. I agonized, and thought, maybe I should force myself to take my kids. They might love it; it’s for them, not for you, I reasoned. But then I thought about it some more.

I don’t believe in Chuck E. Cheese.

It’s fine if that’s your thrill, but it’s not for me. And if I don’t believe in it, why in the world would I subject my kids to it? So I didn’t bring them to either party, and they were none the wiser nor sadder. I recently took them to a Build-a-Bear party which was so over-stimulating I nearly had a seizure, but we did in fact survive it. And the party was during a long four days when Daddy was out of town. I didn’t think I’d handle it, but I did.

I remember as a kid in elementary school, I used to look at the high schoolers with awe and trepidation. I couldn’t imagine myself ever getting to that age and knowing what to do. How did they do algebra? I didn’t even know what that was! How did they know how to dress? My mom still helped me pick out my clothes! How were they smart enough to know how to write like grown-ups? It was beyond me.

I guess what I didn’t know then was it’s gradual, and what I need to remember now is the same thing. You don’t actually do or learn all the things you have to do in one moment. You do it one moment at a time.

Now would be a really good time to be really good at being a Buddhist. Seriously.