Question: Is there an APP for that?

So I was lamenting the fact that I've been running so low on enthusiasm and ideas for this blog situation to my best friend today and she came up with a great question. What's funny is now I'm not sure if I'm even remembering this right (memory is so fallible) but it was something along the lines of, isn't there an APP for (fill in blank here) ?

I believe I was discussing the fact that I'd told my husband something a bunch of times and he kind of ignored it, but then he "discovered" what I had already implied, like it was brand new information. So I'm wondering, is there an "I told you so!" app? Because I'm all over it.

Also, my friend and I were discussing the whole emergence of the stay-at-home mother from her chrysalis of sweatpants, jeans and endless kitchen clean-up duties as her children become old enough to not need as much micro-management as previously.

Is there an app for life when the nest isn't empty, but at least occasionally vacant? How do we talk to other grown ups without sounding like we have verbal diarrhea? How do we talk to grown-ups, period?!

I really put my face in it a few months ago when I ran (no pun intended) into these cool, collected and haughty women from my kids' school who were also running the half marathon I was doing. I ended up babbling like a pathetic brook, with such gems and witticisms as "There will be a lot of people running" and "I am excited, there will be running". The Algonquin Round Table's got nothing on me.

I barely know how to speak to anyone over the age of seven. And now I have jobs, involving grown-ups! OMG to the MAX!!! (there, I sounded like a teenager for a second, right? Is that progress?)

How do we walk, talk, eat, dress, now that we are re-emerging into the world we left behind seven years ago? How do we not become the most dreaded of all mothers returning to work: the ones who TALK ABOUT THEIR KIDS ALL THE TIME? I know I did that last week in a training I was in. I was ONE OF THOSE MOMS. I'm mortified and chastened. I must make amends.

Where to begin?

If there are job coaches, surely there are coaches for mothers returning to the work force. And where there's a coach, surely there's an app. Am I wrong?







I'm back, baby!