Complaint: No Fun for the Whole Family

What is wrong with us?

Seriously.

Our family has been handed the togetherness opportunity of a lifetime with a severance package and a summer break coinciding, and we can't hold it together to go on a damn picnic.

Let me backtrack.

My husband and I have noticed that, as a family, we aren't very good at having fun, unless there's food involved. Then, all's right with the world.

But going to a movie? Too loud and seizure-inducing.

To an amusement park? Too many people, and too expensive.

To an edumacational, kid-friendly museum? Kids like it for awhile but Mom and Dad are couting the ceiling tiles within five minutes. And too expensive.

Camping? Lord, no. We learned today that we can't even FLIRT with the idea of camping as a family.

We took a meandering drive in the rural countryside (try teaching that word to small children, they can't pronounce it) to an alleged state park.

When we arrived, there was no state park. There was a road. A very muddy road. A very muddy, buggy road. Full also of green and itchy plants that repeatedly got in our way. We were going to have a snack on a blanket (a snacknic) and everything, but we never made it.

Tears, gnashing of teeth, mild cursing, and massive whining ensued. Mostly these came from one person, but to be fair, there were complaints from everyone except the patriarch, who clearly is more of an outdoorsy kind of person than the rest of the family combined.

As we drove home today, munching our snacknic in the relative peace and air-conditioned comfort of our car, my husband and I mused aloud, why can't we have FUN as a family? WHAT is our problem? (What do we want? Serenity! When do we want it? Now, damn it!)

Are we just a bunch of misanthropes? Or are we setting the bar too high? My husband and I know how to have a LOT of fun together, but it's nothing we'd do with the kids around. Still, you'd think we could find some activity that all four of us could do with relative satisfaction.

We all do enjoy reading. Yes, we're cutting edge. I see that now.

We love to drive somewhere new, eat at a restaurant we've never been to, drive home, read, and go our separate ways for the day.

Is that so wrong?

All this fun for the whole family bullshit? It's over-rated. Fun has to be what YOU say it is, not what the media, or your neighbors, or even your friends say it is. We all have our preferences.

I guess the bottom line is, fun is subjective. We should stop caring what other people think of what we do, take a drive, eat some pancakes and crack open a book.

Or four.