Question: Why do most movies suck?

Is it just me, or do most movies just truly and utterly suck? And isn’t it apt that I’m writing this while scads of people are glued to their televisions watching the Academy Awards while having seen very few (if any) of said films on offer?

What is it with movies? Dude, you’ve changed, man. Or maybe it’s me.

Case in point: Ever heard of “Shortbus”? If so, I’m sorry. If not, you’re lucky. It’s a graphic, totally unsexy look at sex for twenty somethings, and people, if that’s how it is in New York for young people today, I thank my lucky stars I’m an old married lady. If movies and TV have taught me anything (and they have, albeit usually with gaping facts missing) then what I deduce from the first twenty minutes I saw of “Shortbus” is that New York is full of sexually repressed/deviant twenty year olds with not much else to do with their time. Guh. (Not to mention the actual positions some of those actors got themselves into; whose agent told them this was a good idea for their career? FYI future ingenues, budity does not equal art.)

I’m sure I sound ancient as hell now, but color me curmudgeoned, because it was just a waste of time. And this seems to happen whenever a movie is selected on Netflix in our house. Invariably, it disappoints. Are my standards too high? Are movies just suckier? Or did movies when I was younger just transport me, take me to new heights and vistas? Because I used to LOVE movies. And now? Not so much.

The comedies aren’t funny, the dramas are depressing (although the fashions can be fabulous) and the action adventures have plot holes so big you could drive a semi through them.

So what is a middle-aged grouch to do?

30 Rock.

Lost.

TV online.

I’m telling you, it’s better than shelling out the money and the time to watch close to two hours of what will generally just take time away from other more pressing things (quality time, , exercise, reading, sex).

Seriously, not only are movies a financial drain, but worse, in my opinion, they are a time suck. After I watch a lame movie I feel cheated; I’ve lost two hours of my life, and for what? To see a skinny English actress emote and have issues with a steamy Australian actor with nice pecs? Urgh.

I don’t really give a shit who wins any of the awards tonight, (with the exception of Kate Winslet, who I think has done enough solid work to merit an award, clothed or not) because ultimately it won’t push me to watch any of the movies anyway.

Online TV. It’s free, it’s on demand, and you don’t waste so much of your life.