Complaint: More Facebook Kvetching

Apparently there is another pernicious little list going around Facebook and it involves “things I’ve done during my lifetime.” You’re supposed to check off the ones you’ve done.

I’m sorry, but TM freakin’ I.

Do I need to know that you’ve “kissed under mistletoe”? I think not. If I know you well enough, I already know the damn answer. And going on a spinnaker? What the hell’s a spinnaker?

(Wow, this post is shaping up to be quite a pleasant little complaint. Be careful what you wish for.)

Anyway, I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do with this list. I’m sure as shootin’ not going to fill it out, but I don’t know why other people would and then send it out. Sure, it’s one thing to do an informal inventory of your life’s accomplishments, but this list is just bizarre, if you ask me. It’s some Hallmark card/Lifetime movie wish list and its one size definitely does not fit all.

Besides, if these “friends” of yours on Facebook don’t know you, they won’t care about your list, and if they do know you, they’ll already know (and still won’t care; I’m sorry, “Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR?” FFS!)

So okay, here a few of my suggestions for “Things I’ve Done During my Lifetime” that did NOT make their list:
() eaten sushi off a naked person’s body
() waited in line at Costco for three hours without harming anyone in the vicinity
() cleaned up a small child’s feces from a RUG
() dated one too many drummers
() had a failed body piercing
() watched “Lost” while enduring stomach flu in the bathroom
() sang back up in a Bluegrass band

I’m not going to tell you which of the above are true; you either know, or you don’t give a rat’s ass.

Sincerely,

Ye Olde Addled and Irritable Curmudgeone