Comment: More on Bumper Stickers

What, exactly, are people thinking when they affix bumper stickers to their cars? Today I saw one I've never seen before, that said “Clean and Sober”. Isn’t that a bit like saying, “I’m no longer an arsonist”? I mean, if you’ve done some bad shit, fair play, we all make mistakes, but do you need to advertise it? Sure, we live in a confessional society, but come on.

Personally, I’d rather keep my demons tucked back where they belong, in ancient history. But maybe that’s just me. I can understand that there’s a pride in kicking addiction. Of course there is, it’s huge, it’s life-saving. I get that. No disrespect intended to people who fight addictions (which, by the way, I think includes pretty much everyone, at least on some level.)

But it got my warped mind thinking about other bumper stickers you might keep your eyes out for in the future.

“Crab-free since 2007!”

“I just shoplifted!”

“Look at me, I’m in a car, driving!”

“My kid is WAY smarter than your kid!”

“I’d rather be barfing!!”

“I’m probably illegally talking on my cell phone!”

“I was a bitch in high school!”

“My other car is another car.”

“I didn’t pay my taxes!”

And so on.