Comment: More Female Fun!

I’m really having quite a week. Had my annual mammogram yesterday. It’s really not that painful an experience, at least compared to unmedicated childbirth. I think the fact that I am not one who sports an ample bosom makes it easier.

Anyway, the first humiliation was filling out the chart in the waiting room. You’re supposed to draw on a diagram of breasts your various moles, freckles, etc. Not being intimately familiar with my “beauty” marks and not having my husband with me, I had no choice but to peek surreptitiously down my shirt while avoiding the stares of the staff and other waiting patients. I really couldn’t see much down there, so I didn’t draw anything. And I did look like an idiot.

Then there’s the whole “don’t wear any deodorant or creams in the breastal area”. Well I didn’t. But then I stunk. One tends to sweat a bit at mammograms, seeing as they’re not exactly relaxing. So here I was being placed and arranged with kindness by an innocent technician who had to get up close and personal with my body odor. Poor woman.

I did compliment her hair; it was a glorious red (turns out it was henna; who knew?). But I didn’t compliment her while she was positioning my boobs. That might have seemed weird. I mentioned it when she came to find me in my drafty gown and sack ‘o belongings in the inner sanctum waiting room.

I have really long arms, and they seemed to be in the way no matter how the technician placed them. I tend to tense up when my body’s being positioned under a machine, so it was a little awkward. And let’s not forget that I stunk.

Anyway, luckily mammograms really don’t take that long. Waiting for the results can be nerve wracking for sure. But the experience itself, other than sweat and pinched boobs, isn’t so bad. It’s a small price to pay for prevention and detection.