Question: What is Bella to Edward?

Yes, a little more obsessing about the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer.

So if Bella is like crack to Edward Cullen, it gets really complicated because he is both in love with her AND has to fight not to literally eat her up whenever he’s around her. I’ve been trying to think about an equivalent for reality, so I could try to understand this fiction.

I’m probably asking too much here.

But in any event, I guess what it comes down to is if I were in love with someone who was made entirely of Reeses’© peanut butter cups. I could try to kiss them, but it would be hard not to nibble on them. They’d be pretty delicate, which is how Bella appears to Edward.

So what would it be like to be in love with someone who was, for example, made entirely of Chubby Hubby© ice cream? You’d have to be so careful. And the urge to snack would be brutal.

Could you love something that you wanted to devour? Is the love affair I have with my Dove© dark chocolate morsels like Edward’s love for Bella?

No. Because of the whole soul thing. Even though Bart Simpson claims there isn’t one, Edward appears to be in love with Bella’s soul IN ADDITION to the fact that she’s like a big Cadbury Easter Crème Egg© or the equivalent of his favorite food in the entire universe.

Does that help?

Maybe I should just suspend my disbelief.

And someone should seriously be sponsoring me with all the product placement here.

Dammit, now I'm hungry.