Comment: Doing Things the Hard Way

I have come to my conclusion that I try way too hard sometimes. If you know me, this is, of course, not a shock, but a great big DUH. For as long as I can remember, I’ve done things the hard way. Why? Who knows? Maybe I love a challenge. Or maybe I’m a little challenged, and that makes me take the long way home instead of the short cut, if you’ll excuse the hideous Supertramp reference.

But this whole parenting thing, sure, it’s hard. But the happiest parents are the ones with the happiest kids, and the happiest parents and kids are the ones who don’t try so freakin’ hard all the time. I believe Ariel Gore once said, “It takes a lot of loafing to raise a child.” I remember reading this when I had an infant, and I thought, sure, this woman’s on crack, how can a person just lie around while there is so much to DO?

But she’s right. Do less, be more. This is powerful advice, and deeper than it looks.

But such is our affliction in this pampered Western culture. We always need to DO something and we need to do it NOW. Why? I think at the heart of it, it’s to make ourselves feel important. And to distract us from feeling like sacks of crap, which we do, most or part of the time. Distraction is the ultimate activity. Which is why meditating is so dang difficult. And so dang important.

When I have a spare minute, I immediately find something to do. The whole point of meditation is to DO absolutely nothing. Then feelings, thoughts, emotional ups and downs, questions, comments, and complaints can surface, and you just label them and brush them off.

This is so much harder than it sounds.

And yet, I’m someone who tends to do things the hard way anyway, so why not try to do something hard, even though it involves doing nothing? There’s a paradox for you.