There’s a positively dreadful show on PBSKids. It isn’t really dreadful, but it’s dreadfully annoying. It’s called “Big World” and if I have to listen to Scrub or Scruff or Snout, or whatever the hell the sloth’s name is, sing about our wonderful world one more time, I may hurl.
This show makes Mr. Rogers look like a punk rocker. It’s all super-saturated hues and creepy, saccharine puppets singing. It’s so pure and innocent that I bet it looked better on paper than it does in reality. It's too bright and squishy.
I mean, am I missing something? I think I’m immature enough to appreciate children’s programming. For example, I think “Sesame Street” rocks, and “Clifford” is barely tolerable, while “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” is sweet yet informative, and fun (except for the lushy-looking Ladee Lane) and “Fetch with Ruff Ruffman” is really entertaining. Ruff is a smart-ass dog who bosses real live kids around, what’s not to love? “Cyberchase” leaves me cold, but the kids love it, and it’s sponsored by the NSF, so how bad can it be? There’s actual MATH in it.
So “Big World” just really sets my teeth on edge. As I said, I’m sure the people who created it are super nice and horribly well-intentioned and are surely better humans than I.
But there’s no edge.
I need children’s programming with an edge, even a teeny one that only comes up sporadically. Give me edge, not singing sloths and toucans, I beg you!
Which is also why “The Doodlebops” still remains the worst kid show ever in the “vacuous AND annoying” category. “Big World”, at least, is kind-hearted, albeit sappy as hell.
And I really do like sloths. Just not ones that sing.
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