Complaint: Another Brick in the Wall

So it appears that I’m having a little writer’s block. I was writing about brick walls for the online writing course I’m taking from the incomparable Ariel Gore (oh you name droppa) and it strikes me that writer’s block is also the proverbial brick wall.

I’m just too damn tired to climb it, there’s no door, and I don’t have any utensils in my arsenal that would blast the wall open. I thought about doing a “Plinky Prompt” but I’m too lazy to look it up. Besides, its questions seem to be glorified Cocktail Conversation 101.

Or perhaps I’m just grouchy.

I’ve just noticed that this month, I’ve been finding it hard to think of things to write about. Maybe it’s because I’m also writing for this class. I don’t know. (Dude, I’m writing about writing. I’m so meta I just blew my mind!)

I’m also thinking, I told my fellow students that I have a blog, what if one of them actually goes and reads it? Will I look like an ass? Will they think, what the fuck is this bozo doing in writing class? Will I be found out? That’s an example of what we here at QCC call Imposter Syndrome. I think everyone in the world has it, to a certain degree.

You know what I’m talking about. You think that at any moment, you will be discovered as the fake you really are. All the people who think you’re smart, reliable, interesting and witty will suddenly realize that it’s all a sham, and that you are, in fact, a stupid, mean, boring and insecure pile of jelly, quavering desperately for love and validation.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Imposter Syndrome strikes any time you think you’ll be discovered as inadequate at whatever you’re doing. Parents feel this a lot. And actors. And writers, oh lord, don’t get me started. When you start a new job somewhere, especially if it’s at a level higher than the one you had before, look out: Imposter Syndrome will rear its ugly head, guaranteed.

We all aspire to be something more wonderful than we are (Remember the Asp-Gap(TM) ?) and we all fear that we are far worse than we really are (Imposter Syndrome).

I think I should get a Ph.D. in psychology for summarizing this so succinctly.

Hey, I just plowed through a brick wall!