Question: Are those curls natural?

So we were at a birthday party today, my kids and I, and the grandmother of the birthday boy asked me, “Are your daughter’s curls natural?” And I answered, of course, “Yes they are.” Admittedly I have dark and staright hair, while hers is blonde and curly, so I understand why grandma didn’t see the resemblance.

But what I don’t understand is what the question implies. Do some people curl their children’s hair? Sure, maybe for a super special occasion, but I thought only older kids did that. Curling a three year-old’s hair strikes me as a little on the verge of little girl beauty pageants, which are, in my view, utterly creepy and somewhat disturbing.

Our children are not our dolls. Sure, it’s fun to dress them up, and if they like it, fine. But if your little girl or boy would rather wear a white t-shirt and jeans, why force them to dress like someone they’re not? Little children don’t need hair care products. They don’t need makeup. Even if they ask, four is too young for lipstick. It’s scarily precocious and inappropriate.

Our society is already trying to sexualize kids, especially very young girls, and it’s nasty. A small child should look and act like what (s)he is: small, young, innocent.

I probably sound about 100 years old, but if I’m curmudgeonly, so be it. Children need to be allowed to be children. And these days, pop culture is rushing them along; but we’re complicit too. We take them to dance classes before they’ve learned to run, to language classes before they know how to speak, and competitive sports before they can tie their shoes. Why are we doing this?

Is this another case of doing something for ourselves under the guise of doing it for the kids? Who's really competing here, the kids or the grown-ups? What are we teaching them?

And the hype feeds on itself. I live in a hyper-competitive part of the world, and it seems to me that this is not good for our kids. Life is stressful enough without everybody’s expectations of perfection, good grooming, intellectual skills and athletic prowess before age five.

So no, I don’t curl my daughter’s hair. When she’s old enough, I hope she doesn’t want to straighten it either. She’s beautiful the way she is now.