Question: Is it me or do other people just want to howl likes babies when they feel bad?

Because I know that society does not accept nor permit such displays of distress in anyone over the age of about 4 or 5, but still. Does that mean that we don’t feel as deeply as we mature? I think not. I think we just "mature" ourselves into submission and quiet desperation with the rest of polite Western society and we don’t allow actual physical sobbing to emanate from our bodies. It becomes taboo.

But we all know that even as adults, there are still plenty of things that are sob-worthy, and that we are definitely capable of said sobbing, given the opportunity to do so, which we’re not. At least not very frequently.

I’m always fascinated when I see someone non-North American mourning at a funeral, because there is some serious sobbing going on. It’s unfettered grief, and we all hold that in us in some shape or form. Why are we Western-type people so uptight that we can’t let it out sometimes?

Probably because as is stands now, most people in the United States (and, honestly, Canada) would call 911 if they saw someone sobbing in the Safeway. And sure, that’s not the ideal place to be sobbing, but if the spirit moves you, you know, you might just cry in public. It's not a crime. But it really freaks people out.

I noticed that even at deaths here in the United States, people try to keep a lid on their feelings, and if you show any, all hell breaks loose. I know that when I lost my baby far into my pregnancy, I was crying all the time. People didn’t understand the loss because I hadn’t given birth yet; well, honestly, mothers understood perfectly well; it was kids and men and women without kids who probably thought, suck it up, what’s the big deal. And I remember telling one of the nice cafeteria ladies about losing my baby when I came back to work at the high school where I was working and she burst into tears. I had to comfort her. But at least she let it out.

Where am I going with all this? I don’t know, exactly. But there is a lot of pain in the world, and I don’t think it serves us to keep it all pent up inside us forever. Every now and then you should just pop that emotional pimple and let the pus out.

Okay. That is possibly the grossest analogy I have ever made. I hope you see my point in spite of it.

It’s okay to howl. If you want to cry in private, do so; it’s probably best, given how uptight the rest of us are about tears in grown-ups. But sob away if you need to. You might feel better when you’re done. Aristotle talks about this whole catharsis thing. A letting go of emotion, which theatre (ideally) supplies. Let go once in awhile.

(Wow, two days in a row and Mrs. Sage Advicey-Pants. What’s up with that?)