Comment/Complaint: It's been a day.

It started out with my daughter having a nasty-looking rash on her face when she got up this morning and it went downhill from there.

She was pissed that she wasn’t going to get to go to school. I too was slightly chagrined, having had a dental appointment I then had to cancel, among other things. So we went to the doctor's office and waited 45 minutes only to be seen by not our kind and gentle pediatrician but "the other doctor" in the practice, who was brusque and kind of annoying and rushed us in and out so fast my head was spinning.

The doctor estimated Fifth’s Disease, which is no big deal except to pregnant women, two of whom are friends of mine and the kids. So I spent the afternoon telling my friends they may have been exposed to an illness they don’t want to be exposed to in their conditions. I know it wasn’t my fault but I still felt like an asshole. I tried to be calm and cheery but underneath I felt panic.

Then the kids knocked over the lamp with the energy-saving MERCURY bulbs, and to say my reaction to the shards of mercury-glass was not very calm is an understatement. If you look up the word composure in the dictionary, my picture will not be there. Try “Shit, shit, shit, dammit, shit!” There I am, with my eyes closed and my mouth open.

So after I did my best haz-mat cleaning, my daughter peed a RIVER in the bathroom. I kid you not. There were puddles. She holds her pee for so long that it overwhelms her (and anyone nearby).

So I did what any sane parent would do; I got on the exercise bike and rode and rode and rode until I sweated off the tension of this gnarly day.

And after all was said and done, both of my children were absolutely tremendous. They cooperated, didn’t fight with each other, and never did I have to get cross. So they handled the day way better than I did.

I wish I could be that calm and graceful parent, mellow under duress and filled with serenity. But I’m not. I’m the loud one shouting; but also the one who is the first to give you a big fat hug and tell you how much I love you. And my kids are stuck with me.

And now I’m going to bed before more damage occurs.