Question: Am I a bad parent because I don’t videotape my children’s every move?

I’m just wondering, because this morning at my son’s Kindergarten Thanksgiving Show (three songs, utterly adorable) my husband and I were among the very few who were not either snapping pictures with high tech cameras (or at least their cellphones) or shooting Scorcese-style concert documentary footage with their swank-ass cameras. It just kind of gave me pause.

It didn’t even occur to me or my husband to bring any form of recording device to this even this morning. We just wanted to be there for our son, and we were. His sister came, too. It was great.

But on the way out of the Multi-Use Room, (which I had to ask my son to help me find, natch) one of the moms of one of my son’s friends came up to me and said, “I had such a great angle with your son (who was next to her daughter) and I could give you a copy of it, if you want.” It was extremely nice, but it also made me feel like LoserMom for not answering, “Oh thanks, that’s great, but I got some good footage myself.”

Then ANOTHER Mom I know (who is a nice friend of ours) told me she had some great pictures of my son and would email them to me, who of course, hadn’t taken any. (She didn't say that, though. It was patently obvious on my camera-less self.)

If I were utterly paranoid, I’d say they were sticking it to me. But I know better. They were both just trying to be nice, and nice they were. Simple.

But it left me with a residual feeling of inadequacy—what was wrong with us as parents that we hadn’t brought along some form of recording device for posterity? Didn’t we love our children enough to preserve their memories for them?

The answer is, of course, we suck.

Just kidding.

The answer is, we were too busy living the event to bother recording it.

It’s fine if other people want to record everything, but it strikes me as slightly Reality TV-ish to be filming so much of your actual life. I mean, if you film it, are you truly experiencing it? It’s kind of a way to stay detached from the event. Then, at home, when you watch it over and over, you’re still detached from it because it’s over. And you were there, but you weren’t really there.

So thanks, but no thanks, I’ll keep my cameras for occasional use, but not every time someone in my family opens their mouth. I’d rather just be there to watch and enjoy it.