Comment: Back to Basics

I remember reading some Ariel Gore in one of her awesome Hip Mama books where she essentially says, “If it’s all you can do some days to just get up out of bed, just get out of bed.” (it may have been a couch, but her key point remains the same.)

Some days are not built for SuperMomhood. Some days you just need to keep the kids fed and safe and that’s about all you can do.

Today is one of those days. I didn’t make any thanksgiving crafts today with the kids, and we didn’t give to the needy, and we didn’t discuss spirituality or manners or what we are thankful for (answer: a LOT.) They didn’t eat their damn “rainbow” but we hit a few of the colors. They are happy, fed, safe and nestled in front of innocuous Disney fare (it is not an oxymoron, believe it or not).

Today the kids did clean up their messes, get read to, and listened to, along with their other Maslovian needs.

And if I do my own personal behavior inventory, I think I get bonus points for not being irritable, grouchy or losing my patience.

But it isn’t about points. That’s what companies selling you your inadequacies are trying to foist on you, but parenting is really not about keeping score. Just look at your kids. How are they doing? My daughter still refuses to wear pants, but she’s just in the privacy of her home in her shirt and underwear so what’s the diff? I wouldn’t take her out anywhere without something south of her shirt, but she usually wears dresses anyway and under duress will wear some lame form of leggings. (I am seriously considering getting her leg warmers. The 80s were good for something besides The Cure.)

What it’s about is getting by day in and day out of the marathon that is parenting. Any style or panache is just gravy. And frankly, I don’t always like gravy. Sure, sometimes it’s good, but after awhile it’s a little much. If we throw some of our precious energy into ourselves as well as our kids, that might actually be a good thing for everyone.

So today was a back to basics day. Themed cupcakes were neither made nor decorated. But by the end of the day, we are all in one piece and smiling.

And sometimes that is enough.