Friday, July 1, 2011

Comment: It's Official.

For awhile there I was too busy to write, and on the rare occasion when I sat down to try, I felt like I had nothing to say.

But that appears to have changed.

Enter: MIDDLE AGE. Aaahhhhh!

It's not like I just became middle-aged. I've been middle-aged for awhile now. But today I hit a milestone, because I broke down and bought......

reading glasses.

Yup, that was me in the back of the store, surreptitiously trying on different levels of magnification and seeing what I could read on the little chart that Foster Grant provides for my elucidation. I naively thought that since I have great vision in a family clad in glasses that somehow I would escape the fate.

But age has a way of fucking with you like nothing else. Hence, the glasses.

I mean, I can't read the damn writing on the ibuprofen bottle and at 2 in the morning that's pretty annoying.

I haven't even used the glasses yet. I just got them this afternoon. And I wonder if anyone will notice or care, or if I'll end up making a big deal out of it because "Oh my god, I wear GLASSES now, look at me, I've over 40!" I do tend to skew on the dramatic side.

But I kind of leaned into it today, and at the same time bought some moisturizer for "mature" skin. I don't know how exactly they determine what mature means. My skin is probably more mature than me, but that's not saying much.

Somehow I ended up subscribing accidentally to Women's Health magazine and on the cover there are always twenty year-olds on the cover, baring their midriff, with the heading "Chrissy Celebutastic shows you her secrets to staying fit!"

And the secret is? She's TWENTY. She doesn't EAT. Not really much of a secret, people.

I'm more than twice that age, and I love to eat, so this magazine does me no good. I've just got to figure out how to unsubscribe. There's no tab on the bottom of the magazine to click on!

As I like to say to anyone who will listen, and especially to my best friend, we're not 20, and we're not 80. So being in the middle is pretty much where I'm going to be for awhile. So get set for more ranting about the middle ground.

If you're strong enough to take it.





1 comment: