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The mucous is flowing, the wind is a'blowing, it's fucking February once again. The shortest month that feels like the longest. A time I always dread, for fear of an outbreak of seasonal depression. So many of us get really low during the winter. I have a light box (and a panoply of other resources) to help me through. But I just can't wait for Spring. It fills me with hope that it's coming. We're already about a third through the month, so that's progress.
I was walking outside today and everything looks so grey and ugly. It's amazing what a makeover sunshine is, to everything it touches. So here's to sunny days, soon, I hope.
I'm very distracted because I'm editing one of the two novels I want to get published. My husband is doing a start-up and in a way, so am I. There's so much I don't know. The self-publishing route is very exciting to me. And there are other websites I'm going to try.
Stay tuned.
Hi Everybody, I just Kindle published a book! It's a selection of some of the more amusing and hopefully entertaining posts from the early years of QCC. I'm awaiting proofs before it becomes a real live book on Amazon. If you have a kindle, here's the link.
Dat's Not It, You Fool
I'm so excited about this! I have two novels I am working on but it is hard to edit in a vacuum. So I will try to explore some of these other websites that purport to help self-publishers such as myself get our books out.
Stay tuned.
We're all feeling it, at this time of year, and no thanks to Punxsutawney Phil. (I kind of feel bad for the oversized rodent. All this attention and in such unnatural circumstances. Whose idea was this, anyway? Do I need to go search this on the Interweb?)
As you may infer from my previous sentence, I've been watching a lot of "30 Rock", season one. It is one of the only things I have to watch while I ride the exercise bike in the basement. My phone is having issues with Netflix and the screen is just too fucking small to watch shows on. (When I watch "Downton Abbey" on my husband's 17 inch screened lap top, I feel like I'm at the movies.)
So I'm really living with the characters of "30 Rock" and I'm starting to sound like them. Blerg. Liz Lemon is such an awesome character, as are all of the others on the show. There isn't a dud among them. They're unique, quirky, and hilarious hijinks inevitably ensue. Just thinking about the show makes me smile.
Liz is everywoman, albeit with an amazing job, which most women don't have. Most women aren't pulling in six figures. Some of us aren't even pulling in four figures. Some of us aren't pulling in anything except laundry and groceries as we take care of our families. So we're not just like Liz. But we are.
So how does a middle aged semi-housewife such as myself relate to single, childless Liz Lemon? Because she's a dork. And I'm a dork.
I love the scene where she takes her bra off in the magic special way we ladies know how to to it without ever taking our shirts off. (Can't be done with sports bras, sadly). She's just standing there with her bra in her hand when Floyd comes in and finds the flowers sent to Liz the he meant to send to his girlfriend, Liz Lemmler.
Liz Lemon gets in awkward situations that many of us can relate to, and this is why she shines high in the pantheon of modern female TV characters. Those monosyllabic women (and men) on the "Law and Order" shows have got nothing on ole Liz Lemon. She's our everywoman. She uses a scented candle as deodorant, and mistakenly uses the men's room to clean up after a night editing scripts and watching a "Designing Women" marathon on Nick at Nite. It's these details that delight.
I could go on, and probably will later, but let's just toast to Liz Lemon. "30 Rock" may be over, but it's such a solid show that repeated watching only enhances the hilarity.
But I think I'll stick to regular deodorant.
Ahh, tweendom. It's only just beginning at my house. Moodiness is the feeling du jour, and it goes without saying that there are great highs and deep lows. And that's just at breakfast.
What can I say? I was such an insecure kid, I don't remember much about rebelling or yelling at my mother. I'm pretty sure I never yelled at my mother. Scratch that, I KNOW I never yelled at my mother. I'm not saying I didn't give her trouble. I did. And plenty. But in the rebellion domain, that all happened once I was out of the house. I was in puberty a WHOLE lot later than most gals n' guys. I had a delayed pubescence. (That sounds graphic, doesn't it? It just means I got my period late and didn't get drunk until I went to college.)
The challenge with the tween child is not to over react, because that sends you both down the slippery slope, the dominos all fall down, etc. Be still and calm when the storm comes through. Or as they like to say, lean into it. Accept that there will be sass. And yes, there will be sass. And door slamming. And deception. And low-level scheming. All part and parcel of the gig.
My challenge is to be as chill as possible. How do you warm up for that?
Yup, the inevitable happened. I was innocently bagging up my groceries today at Trader Joe's, using my seemingly unlimited stash of reusable bags when I picked one up and was struck by a stench so foul, I can not perfectly describe it. It was like garbage plus body odor plus rotten dead meat. It was my bags. The odor hurled itself out of the bags and into the air and I actually said something to the effect of, "Oh my, these bags smell terrible!" And the cashier was all, "At least you admit it, you should smell some of the bags that come across my counter". I was a little bit mortified, so the humor was useful.
Stinky grocery bags. A new low. So I came home, unpacked my groceries, and washed my bags, Nobody ever talks about washing your reusable bags, but it's a really good idea and I may just win the Master of the Obvious award for common sense.
I just felt I needed to write about it. Is it a metaphor for life? For my life? Do I need to wash out the stinky bags of my psyche, to clean them and purge them, making room for new wealth? Or am I reading too much into this?
Probably.
I got nothing. Blaming it on hibernatory symptoms.
Am I in the middle of one right now? The timing's right. I'm angst-filled and feel completely fried from the teaching I've been doing for most of my life. I feel like I've lost my passion for teaching, especially children. This depresses me. Then again, it's late January in the winter in the mid-Atlantic region, so most things depress me. Like snow. And cold.
But seriously, where to next? I don't know. There are tons of answers, no doubt. My husband is starting a business and he needs help, so I'm going to help him to the best of my abilities.
I also think i could be a better "homemaker" even though I am loath to use the term. I mean, our house is messy and disorganized and if I could just channel one percent of Martha Stewart that could really help me out. I don't want to get into decoupage or make my own ottoman, but I could use some organizational and storage tips. And a big garbage bag or ten.
We are overrun with books, too. I went through a period of time over several years where i bought a LOT of books. Many of them are no longer relevant to me, so off to the library they can go. I think I could even sell some of them back to Amazon, though I'm not sure I've got the gumption. It doesn't look too hard...
The embarrassment of riches is surrounding me. I am grateful for that and don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. I can make a difference by being a good role model for my children. That is of utmost importance. If I keep that in mind, whatever else I do will be icing on the cake.
